"Doc...what did you make me gulp?"

I wouldnt say this is new to me or you. You have all been there, there and there. And I wouldnt say the below is all true..I dont half remember what happened to me in real life in the last two days; to give a unadultered version of my dreams in the same period, would be impossible and boring. There are stuffs that I have made up.

On Friday evening, I, along with my friends, returned from a trip to "black thunder" (a theme park near Coimbatore). The taste of masala puri taken at black thunder was lingering in my tongue, and, so I took it for dinner too. I climbed the innumerable steps to my mansion room, took bath (to wipe off the chlorine) and scanned through my book-shelf....then scanned through the DVD collection. "Delhi 6" was inviting. I sat with my laptop. Watched the movie, then as usual, read a few facts about the movie on the net. Got reminded of "Pirates of Carribean" somehow and watched a few clips from the movie. That's the point till which my brain cells have a clear record of. Many people in the rest of the story are real life characters, but I dont know what business they had in my dream - especially Abhishek Bachchan.

I was sitting in "Lalkudi" restaurant, waiting for a table, when a guy next to me started talking in Malayalam. I noticed that his forehead had a "KL" registration. I told him, "Sorry, I dont speak Malayalam". He again said something in Malayalam - the only thamizh word being 'Time'. I told him, "Sorry, I dont understand a word of Malayalam". He showed me the TV. Anil Kumble was being interviewed by my uncle and Kumble declared that Malayalam will be Coimbatore's official language effective immediately. I was starting to feel very insecure about myself. These mallu guys already had a very streamlined body like a fresh water fish and had their way with girls with the sweet language they spoke. Now, that being the official language, I had to learn it. Abhishek Bachchan agreed to help me. After all, he had the best American accent by an Indian actor (Kamal Hasan ranking second). "What an idea sir'ji?" - I told him. There was a condition though, Amitabh would take the introductory session. I was cool with anything.

The new woodland shoes started biting. Peter said, "What is the need for a shoe in black thunder...come on, have you ever been to a water theme park?". He pushed me into the water and said "Savvy!!". I laid in the water, for how long I dont know. I was still in the water, but I knew that everyone in the world had left. They did not know that I was in black thunder drowned in the 'lazy river' which is 2 feet deep. I suddenly remembered that black thunder was for sale. May be, people just left black thunder and not the world. Even if they did leave the world, the first one to go would have been a mallu and I knew the official language in the new earth was Malayalam. So, I was happy to be left out here.

I knew I had to wake up, but could not. I felt heat all over the body. May be I was in a fire ride and not a water ride. These guys used to have something called "Volcano". I realized that I could get out of this, if I could finish one of the 3 tasks I was supposed to do.

1. How better could have "Delhi 6" ended.
2. Set up hints for a treasure hunt that we were planning to have in office.
3. Complete the blog post about "Why I am not expressive" - which I had promised to Jai that I would write about.

I had a tough time choosing between the 3. They all seemed equally tough. With my hands and legs tied, with my nose blocked and with a soar throat which made me mute, I could not do much. Suddenly, one of my friends appeared and said - "You never really care for your friends. You care for only the pretty ones". At this, I was very very deeply hurt and woke up with all my might. I picked my phone and messaged her saying "Watch 'Dog day afternoon'. Al Pacino is awesome". She replied immediately saying, "I asked you to watch 'Amelie'. Have you?". "I think I have swine flu or something. Or may be it is just because I read '3 men on a boat', the other day. Will call you when I am fully conscious".

After 10 minutes, I was a little conscious. The time was 10.30am. I had cold. I was having a bad throat - not as cute as Rani Mukherjee's though. I had fever. I searched my roommate's medical box and found a tablet that said "Crocin - Cold and Flu". Gulped it and went down to take break fast. I asked for warm water to drink and it tasted like elixir (no, I havent tasted elixir). Back to room, I had a pile of clothes to wash. I soaked them in RIN (no, they are not sponsoring this post) and surfed the net a bit. You know, I am immune, brave and all that. So, inspite of the fever, I washed the clothes. The power went off. I thought of lying down for sometime.

Peter woke me up and said - "It is already Sunday and you are not doing anything about your fever. Will Abhishek Bachchan come and fill in for you tomorrow?". But I was helpless. I was already outside of the universe. Jai had trans-ported me through digital imaging for his project. May be, I am yet to get used to the trans-porting..and hence the fever, body pain etc. He has promised to get me back to earth during the maintenance window which was on Saturday night EST (Earth Standard Time). I hoped, he remembered that due to Day Light Saving, the timings have changed.

It must have been about time, for someone was playing 'Nenjukkul peidhidum maamazhai' and I could hear it. The guitar's vibration forced me to wake up. I realized that it was my phone. My cousin was trying to reach me. I hid the phone under the pillow and mumbled "I need some oxygen or may be adrenalin. Depends". That suddenly reminded me that I had to meet the doctor.

The time was 3.30pm. I woke up in a hurry. The body started aching. I still didnt have a clue as to how better "Delhi 6" should have ended. I should probably start with the blog post. But, first, Doctor. I shaved as much as I could, for I did not want the doctor to conclude that I was just dying out of hunger and really was not sick. I walked down the 4 storey mansion. There was a clinic just opposite to my mansion. The board read "Consulting hours - 5pm to 6pm". $#*&# (I don't normally swear or curse). To hell with doctors, they dont work half the time the rest of the world works. I walked the street to see if there was any other clinic. There were 5. One was a homeopathy clinic, one for pregnant women, one was an eye-care clinic, one specialized in skin disease and the other said "Dr.X, BSc Medicine" - wait, are you kidding!!.

I had a cup of tea and climbed 4 floors back. The next thing I did was to sleep again. I set the alarm for 5pm and kept the phone far away from me, least I would hide it under the pillow again.

Myself, Peter, my cousin, some doctor and Sonam Kapoor(Peter had a crush for her, but I was Abhishek Bachchan..right? Don't tell Peter.) were running around Black Thunder to find the next hint for the treasure hunt. Peter shouted in Malayalam "Werent you the one who set the hint..why are you running with us?".
"The hints that I had set were before Black Thunder was sold off" - I shouted back in Malayalam..(Wow...did you notice that..my accent?). He seemed confused.
My cousin sent me a message saying - "pls call me". I thought he must have got lost somewhere. But my phone was the treasure we were trying to find. Idiot, how the hell could I call him, when the very thing we were searching for was my phone. Then it occurred to me that if I could read the message, then probably the phone was somewhere near. I woke up and found the phone in my hand. My cousin had really messaged me and I had really read it. Anyways, he was getting on my nerves. Lazy guy, had no work to do on Saturdays and was probably trying to reach me to say 'Hi'. I replied saying - "Hey..I am fine. Coimbatore is equally hot. Black Thunder was disappointing. Will call later. Busy now" and switched off the phone. The time was 4.45 anyways.

Washed my face and went down again. Fever wasn't there now, throat had cleared comparitively...my goodness...I had atleast one reason to go to the doctor - I still had body pain. I was happy for that (!!!). The doctor had no compounder, no nurse, one fan and a poster that said "Swine Flu is curable....blah..blah".
The doc looked like he bunked his medicine classes for the 5 to 6 consulting session. I told him that I had fever. He took the thermometer. I said, "It is
not there now". I told him that I had a bad throat. He asked me to pull my tongue out. I said, "It is better now".

"Do you have blocked nose"

"No"

"Do you have cough"

"No"

"Shivering"

"No"

He looked confused. Probably he thought I was not going to give him the consultation fees.

"But I had body pain and it is still there"..I smiled as I said that.

He checked my blood pressure. He asked me to breathe in and out, while he probed my back with his steth. (Is this guy, just using all his equipments).

"What do you do?..I mean, where do you work"
"In a private firm" (I prefer not to tell that I work in IT field...I might be robbed).

He gave me one of those looks that interview panelists give when they want to say "Could you eloborate that?".

"I am a programmer in a small company"
"Which one?"
"Cognizant" ( I will be robbed).

He scribbled the names of 3 tablets. ( I later found that one of them was paracetamol) and asked me to take rest.
"Fees?"
"30"
"Three zero"
"Yes"
(Wow!!..dude, he is a good guy..you know...not all doctors are like that).

The medicines costed me 97.13 (VAT inclusive).


It was only 6pm. But I badly wanted to give myself a psychological boost. Took 4 idlies, pretending to my stomach that it was dinner and took the tablets. Ofcourse, slept off again. I started shivering after sometime. Started having cough. I had a blocked nose. "Did the doc ask me those questions, to know the symptoms or to give me those symptoms?". I decided to google and check what those tablets were for - but only after I woke up. I knew I was not asleep, but I knew I was not awake either. By the way, "How better could have 'Delhi 6' ended?".

I could sleep no more after 9pm. I felt better, like, a fresh water fish from Kerala. Called my friend and explained why I had not seen "Amelie" yet. Called
my cousin and gave him an account of the Black Thunder trip. Made sure, he didnt talk about it again. Opened the laptop and decided to write about the blog on "Being Expressive"....but switched to an earlier promise made to Arvindh, about writing a fiction and got that done.

Went to bed at 2.30am. Had a good sleep. No dreams...or may be I just dont remember them. Woke up at 6 and logged in immediately to see if there were any comments on the new post. Srikk, Seshu and Subi had declared that it was no fiction and that it was an account of my love-failure in real life. "How better could I end this story?" - I thought. Gave it a second climax..which was more bollywood types - just so that it would sound really like a fiction.

Soon, me and my Appleton friends got into a conference call - a long one. When I got off the call, the power went off. I took my morning dosage of the medicine and slept off. No dreams..or may be I just dont remember them. When I woke up, I had no body pain, no cold...but fever was still there. I was happy that I had a reason to have one more dosage of the tablets (What kind of disease is this? Is this a symptom of swine flu?). Delhi 6 climax didnt matter any more. I finished setting hints for the treasure hunt. Thought "Being expressive" needed more time for assimilation, and instead decided to write about the last 2 days of absolute laziness.

I am going to see what those tablets were meant for. I still have fever. Cheers!

Love and my first blabbering post

"What according you is love?", was the question a friend recently brought up during a weekend gathering of 6 of us from my friend's circle. 5 years back I would have immediately thrown in my 2 pennies. The few grey hairs that decorate my side burns now, made me keep quiet. I knew the answer was not easy. I said, "I dont know". Sometimes the biggest wisdom is recognizing "I still dont know". This night, my mind is clogged with questions. So, here I am sitting under an imaginary Bhodhi tree and a 60 watts aura around me, with the knowledge that I surely wont attain enlightenment.

A couple marry. The wife loves the husband very much. They are the 'made for each other' couple. They have the 'new couple' craze for may be the next 1 year....then the craze gets tainted with the daily house hold disputes. They have not stopped loving yet.....just that they are entering a differen stage of love.

After 2 years, a child is born. The wife is a mother now. Most of her time is spent on the child. Has the love for her husband stopped? No, she still loves him. But she has someone more special to take care of now. The love spectrum has undergone a major shift.

The kid spends time around his mother most time for the next 4 years. I dont have to say that the mother's love is the purest and probably never ending form of love. The kid may not understand it at this point, but eventually he will, when he is in Appleton - away from home, writing blogs. The kid starts going to school, makes friends, meets teachers. Some kids, because of the kindness and fondness shown, love their teachers. I have seen kids who chose 'Betty Miss' Vs. Mom.

The kid becomes a teen. He reaches a stage of independence. He meets new friends. Develops new habits. He starts spending more time outside than in the house. The teachers thrust assignments. The parents thrust discipline. Naturally, he loves his friends' circle more than anything else. He has no respect for his mother/father/teacher. He may or may not love his parents depending on the pocket money and importantly how they accept his friends.

[wait now, have you already raised your eye brows and started jotting down points to retaliate? Read my disclaimer at the end. Hail the discoverer of disclaimers!!!]

The teen goes to college. He makes some special friends here. At college, especially in hostels where everyone is deserted from their family, where there isnt much to do beyond class hours, where there is so much fun, hobbies, love failures, shortage of pocket money and bad mess food, a bond develops which is stronger than the bond with siblings. Some of these frienships would continue life long.

Then eventually, there is a special one. Now, he would walk the sea, bend the sky, pluck the stars and die if needed. This could be love or infatuation. As if it were grammar, this passage should end with "What is the difference between love and infatuation?"

Infatuation eventually dies. After 2 years, assuming that there was no proposal/acceptance scene, the girl becomes an academic interest. "Oh she is doing MBA..?...I see", "Oh she married that guy Vinoth...?!?...I should have probably given a try". But - love - wherever she is, he cares for her. He may not walk the sea, bend the sky, pluck the stars, but he would sit with her one whole night listening to her problems...he would sacrifice a cricket match when she is in town(it is a big deal, girls!!)...his phonenumber/password/car registration something has her name/nick name. He never frowns that she did not marry him. He just wishes her good luck.

Well ofcourse, he could marry her and not do any of the above.

A couple of passages back we introduced some people called "life long friends". They are still there. But each of them is running his own love thread. So, the love among the friends is assumed to be global constant 'k' and can be used wherever the equation needs them.

Let us say he marries the special one. We have made a circle and come to 'New couple craze'. Wait....I ignored the mother for a long time....well, not me, HE. Right after his teenage, the love for his mother has undergone a spectral change. Mother's love is taken for granted just like friend's love is contant 'k'. Occassional calls and weekend meets will keep 'k' a constant unless some money-lending involves.

All this while, the mother never stopped her love for the child. As a kid she loved her mom, then her friends, then the special one, then the husband, then the kid, then.....well, there is no 'then'. The love for the kid never stops....she cannot love anyone more than her kid. (May be until super-hero 'grandchild' gives entry). A mother's love is not a human-only property. It is common to all vertebrates.....(hopefully, invertebrates dont read my blog).

Ofcourse there are other forms of love - siblings, cousins, pets, after-college friends and others that I cant clearly think of at 4 am.

Well, the point is, love is like God, it doesnt have a form. One can survive as an athiest....but not as a non-believer of love. Love is like energy, it transforms from form to form. Love is like light, it shows different colors when reflected by different objects. It doesnt have a definition.

Love involves happiness, celebration, satisfaction, inspiration, motivation, pain, disappointment, possessiveness, envy, disputes and re-union. It also involves songs and dance in Bollywood movies.

It exists in the real world!! For a man to survive, he needs, food, clothing shelter and love at every stage of his life. The best thing about love is, the more you give, the more you get.

The universe is huge, the stars small, the earth smaller, and human life very insignificant. Life is short and there is no time to be hating anyone. Fill life with love. Enlightenment.

(Disclaimer : I know some guys who love their parents than anyone else, I know guys who still talk to their friends everyday, I know Bollywood movies that dont involve song and dance. I dont claim this blog post to have said everything about love. Amen!)