Venu Lane - The festival of lights

The heart used to thump aloud even as our bus entered the bus stand. From within the bus, I would try to spot mama waiting to receive us. And when we got down from the bus, sister and I would unsuccessfully try hugging him with our little arms. During the long walk to home, mom would ask him if the others had arrived - calling out the names of their brothers and sisters...and we would eagerly listen to his answers. Like any kid, we had our favorites and we were eager to know if they were visiting too. Plus, there was always the undeclared competition as to who arrived first.

The otherwise badly lit streets would pose a romantic appearance with numerous little lamps placed in the porch, steps and parapets - adding to them, the brightly lit faces of the residents. Each street had a couple of relatives or friends who would greet mom as we walked past their homes. Occassionally, we would be stopped by the warning-cries of the kids who had just lit a cracker, sangu-chakram or bushvaanam. Some kids would yell late and the crackers would burst right under our march. Sister and I would stick to the protective heels of mama holding his legs tightly.

When we reached Venu Lane, we would find grandpa anxiously walking between the entrance of the house and the entrance of the street to see if we were arriving, as if we would lose our way if he were not at the street corner to receive us. The hundred meter sprint would start as soon as we reached the street corner. We would run past the neighboring houses. It used to be fun running past uncles, aunts, cousins and stop only at the kitchen - for, it was the most opportune moment to prove to the world that we were the most favorite grandchildren of grandma. When we walked out of the kitchen, we would have a plate full of kachayam, rava laddu, adhirasham, murukku and laddu all of them filled with the expertise of grandma and aunts.

Then it was boasting time with cousins about "first rank", "class leader", "first prize", "new cycle", "new TV", "Rajini movie" etc. As the clock neared 9pm, all the kids would start "the wait" for "chithappa". He was the one who financed our crackers every Deepavali, but he typically arrived late after closing business for the day. During "the wait", everyone would make their demand to me  -  because, I was the one always chosen by chithappa to accompany him to the cracker shop. The big cousins would want saravedi, atom bombs and onion bombs. The slightly younger ones would want lakshmi vedi, kurivi vedi, double shot and seven shot. While, saattai, maththaappu, sangu-sakkaram, bushvanam would be recommended for the younger ones. Used to sleeping by 8pm on school days, I would find it hard to keep my eye-lids open until chithappa arrived. But all the sleep would vanish the moment he beeped the horns of his bike.

At the cracker shop, the shop-keepers would recommend all the new arrivals...though tempted to buy them, I would stick to the demand list given to me, recalling who wanted what. When I was done calling out my list, chithappa would add some of his childhood favorites like bijili vedi, snake pills, cartoon creepers and the forbidden ones - that is, rockets -  the ones that my big cousins wanted but would not ask for - fearing the wrath of the elders in the family. Back home, someone would take the cracker box and put it securely on the loft. I would ask mama to check if the box had maththaappu, then I would ask him how many packets of saattai were there, then I would say we missed bushvaanam. Understanding my intention, a pack of maththaappu would be given for immediate entertainment.

In the meanwhile another young group would have opened the mehandi desk, trying out designs from simple initials to Eiffel tower to complex geometry in the palms and feet. Kids running behind the elders to have their backs rendered the luxurious service of 'itching' which would have been made difficult by the mehandi decors.

Then would start the big fight to find a place for everyone to sleep. I would demand a place next to grandma or grandpa and also next to my favorite cousin. All the pranks for only a few minutes as I would have already crossed my stay-awake-threshold. On the morning of Deepavali, (read "3am"), the house would be in a busy mode. Some would have already gotten ready, some would be drenched in oil waiting to take bath and some would already be taking bath. Among the kids, there would be this big race to take bath first - for - the one to take bath first had the privilege to light the first firework. But that involved an opportunity cost - kids were given oil bath by one among the aunts or grandma who took turns. I used to be scared of being given bath by big aunt - for - she did a thorough job - clutching the hairs as if one would become bald after the bath. During the course of the bath she would declare that she was going to wash off all the melanin. So, I preferred waiting for grandma's turn and sometimes pulled her out of kitchen to take up the all important job of bathing me first.

After a short innings with the light-weight crackers, it would be time to wait for grandpa to give us our new dresses. Then it would be time to go around the street flaunting our new dresses. After this ramp-walk, it would be time to watch the big kids perform their challenging act of bursting the heavy-weight crackers. When no one was watching, they would secretly bring a bottle(the launch pad) and start launching the rockets. Some rockets used to take diversion and traverse through neighboring houses and some used to land on nearby roofs. By this time, someone among the elders would have sensed the mischief and come out to ban further launches. The big kids would be condemned for violating the ballistic missile treaty and chithappa would be blamed for funding the rockets. The missile launches having been banned, it would then be time for the atom and onion bombs. Grandma would shout at us saying that one of these bombs would collapse the house. She did this every Deepavali. But the house stayed intact everytime.

Amidst the state of chaos, breakfast, tea-time and lunch would happen as scheduled. It is difficult to imagine how the elders in the family kept track of who had taken breakfast/lunch and who was yet to take food. Someone or other ensured that the kids were fed. It used to be gala time through out the day with no restriction on what to eat and where to go. At the fall of night, grandma would ask all of us to gather and perform the "drishti" ritual fearing that someone would have jinxed our togetherness.

The time to start packing would eventually arrive. One by one, uncles, aunts and cousins would start leaving. Those were the saddest moments at that young age. The next vacation would seem far far away. We would exchange parting gifts from our exclusive collectibles like chocolate wrapper, colour buttons, 2paise coin, spiderman sticker, etc. The next working day, we would be in a different world dressed up in school uniform and worrying about homeworks and recounting the Deepavali celebration to our friends in school. The only solace used to be that Kaarthikai deepam would give an opportunity to relive those moments in a miniature.

pictures courtesy: 
http://www.pathikbhatt.com/2011/india-diwali-satellite-image-real-or-fake/
http://www.apollolife.com/HealthyLiving/EnvironmentalHealthGreenLiving/LightUpAnEcoFriendlyDiwali.aspx

The 49th post

Dear friends and followers, there are totally 54 posts in this blog now. 3 of them written by my friend Suresh (aka Subi), and 2 posts that have no real content. So, practically this is my 49th post. 49 posts in about 3 years is not a big achievement at all, but it is a good point to look back and analyze a bit.

(You can click on the images below to see them better).

Subject range and stats

In these 49 posts, I have attempted travelogues, humor, suspense, romance, poems, eco-gyan, movie reviews, personal musings and even history based fiction. Some of these posts received wide attention and a few of them did not gain any attention at all.

Though I have tried to balance between Thamizh and English, number-wise, there are more posts in English. For a good number of my readers Thamizh was not the second language in school and so they have trouble reading Thamizh. I had to retain their readership!! Plus, my humor is contrived - except in a couple of posts that I wrote immediately after reading "Three men in a boat". The contrived humor works out better in English (Of course, you may argue that it doesn't work out anyways).

I have not ventured into any social issues and 'should-be-discussing' topics. That would require assessing all sides of such issues and being able to come to a conclusion. I should be able to do it, when I have made myself knowledgeable enough.

The popular ones

"Kaadhalagikk kasindhurugi" has received the maximum number of page views. I myself have read it many times. Even if my own page views are subtracted, I think it would still top the list.


Going by the number of comments (after subtracting my own comments), the top 3 are:

Busy for nothing (13 comments) - Some of these were greetings and not comments on the post.

Love and my first blabbering post (13 comments) - This was my first major success.

Kaadhalgikk kasindhuriugi (11 comments)

My picks

I have a special liking for the 3 posts below. They have unearthed old memories for some of the readers and helped them relive those cherished moments:

The one on dad's retirement

Yeh tumhari meri baathein

Venu Lane - Biodiversity hot spot

Traffic inflow and stats

I don't consider myself a good writer (not after reading posts by Seralathan (serious writing) and Jaya Madhavan (humor)). Further, I write mostly about what I have been through, what I think, what I want to be. When there is so much of "I", my writing may be of interest only to my close friends. So, I have some hesitation in publicizing my blog.

To begin with, most of my readers were my close friends, then it extended to a few co-workers. Only a very few followers are strangers to me. Thus, my readers circle is very small. A small number of people have dropped in, to read just one or two posts.

Some friends have helped to extend the readership by forwarding links through mails and facebook. I was surprised to see traffic flowing in from countries like Russia and Ukraine where I have no friends (unless Veerabahu was ever posted there for one or more of his frequent foreign assignments).

I have some traffic flowing in through Seralathan's books review blog. That may be natural because, some people who know him are likely to have known me as well. But, I was surprised to see traffic flowing in via talesofthewanderlust (Madan) and some-sensible-nonsenses (Divya). I should thank Seral, Madan and Divya for extending the readership of my blog by listing it in the list of blogs they follow.

Some traffic comes in accidentally too. Have a look at some of the key words that lead people to my blog:

Visitors trend:

I used to receive comments from many friends. Marriage and parenthood has made some of them busy (that is not a complaint :) ). It is a pleasant surprise when some of them comment after a big gap, that gives me assurance that they still visit my blog.

Anyways, not all of my readers leave comments in the blog itself. For various reasons, some friends talk to me over phone, some of them mail their comments and some give feedback when they meet me. Some of them share their own experiences and memoirs with me. Interestingly, there are some good writers among them, but they do not maintain a blog or are inconsistent. I have tried encouraging them to write as that is one way to get better - that and reading more.

I have also got a few good critics who pat me when I write well, tell me when I could have done better and advise me even on the font size.

Looking at the stats, the page views seem to be picking up in 2012.

Overall, I am pleased with how it's going. A couple of friends have suggested that my writing is going to the next level. That is definitely encouraging. Thanks for the continuing support folks. I love you all.

The break

The reason for this 'looking back' analysis even before reaching the 50th post is because I plan to take a mini-break giving myself some time to prepare for the exams (2oth May). Because, once I plan to write on something, it begins to occupy a corner in the mind and creates restlessness. Sometimes, many pieces run at the back of the mind at the same time. That is an unwanted luxury with exams around.

A compelling reason may arise pushing me to change my mind in a hurry and break the break as well. The 50st post might not be far away. Hopefully, Sachin would have scored his 100th hundred by then!

Venu Lane - The bio-diversity hotspot

My maternal grandparents' house, built with bricks was never coated with cement or paint on the outside. The rooms, except the hall, were roofed with terracotta tiles. Such an architecture inherently provided with lot of crevices, clefts and other 'thesaurus'eous openings. Perfect setting to house all verities of arthropodians. Arthropodians, aren't just another groups of 'podians', they do have intimidating features.

Along with the arthropods, there were other creatures: the 4-legged, the 8-legged and the 5-legged (a differently-abled cockroach who lost a leg in an encounter with grandma). There were also the multipedes, centipedes and even wikipedes ("Wiki" is a Hawaiian word meaning "fast" or "quick"). There were so many of them that we did not even have to install an antenna when the house got its first TV. There was no need when all those arthropods had at least two antennae each.

There was one room that wouldn't allow sunlight. The hall had an attic which served as a dump yard for old vessels, audio cassettes ("Parashakthi" kadhai vasanam and the likes), outdated medicines and "Soviet" magazine issues from the days of Stalin and Lenin. Also, anything that I wanted to hide from my little sister was thrown into the attic. It basically supported 9 families of rodents, 1 cat, its visitors and many colonies of termites among others. Occasionally, my uncle too.

There was a garden behind the house which was the abode of many creepy creepers - a water melon plant and snakes inclusive. Actually, 'garden' is a overstatement for what we had. Drumstick trees, few shrubs of shoe-flower, pumpkin creepers - were all that grandpa would classify. Rest were wild herbs and grass and he gave them different names on different occasions. The snakes were real though.

Considering that I spent most of my vacations as a kid at the said house, I had enough experiences to write an entire series of "Night of the scorpion and others Inc" unlike Nissim Ezekiel who stopped with just the one poem. Probably I would have started with 'The night of the angry ant':

I remember the night when I

was stung by an ant. One hour

of power-cut had driven him

to circle beneath the candle light.

More candles, one torch light,

more insects and the endless power-cut.

Yet to be enrolled in school

I had no homework nor sense.

Boredom caught me and I

tried to trap the ant

under a geometry box

(which was not mine).

Upon release, the angry ant

bit my little finger.

Tears down my eyes

and a red fluid down my finger

(for I was seeing blood

for the first time),

I turned and twisted in pain

singing 'why this kolaveri'.

My angry aunt killed

the angry ant and she

covered my finger with a cloth.

The bleeding stopped

and the pain subsided.

Did I stop crying?

No! Not until I was given a banana.

When the power was back

I saw the dead ant being carried

by its men while I

was still eating the banana.

It wasn't just about the nights anyway. In the mornings, we had a pack of monkeys visiting the locality at regular timings. If the monkeys crossed east-west, the time was 7am. If they crossed west-east, the time was 4pm. If they did not turn up - 'Ekathasi' celebration in local temple (which meant they did not have to visit our garden for food). One day, when my little sister was sleeping in the cradle and we were busy in the kitchen, a monkey had come into the house and was checking out the cradle. We had to shoo-shoo it, least my sister would have grown up to be the female version of Mowgli or 'Elizabeth of the jungle'. Only slightly different from how she grew up in my company.

Grandpa's house had a wide assortment of slippers though no one in the house wore them while in town. But at the mere sight of a mouse, each one would swing their favorite slipper. They rarely hit a mouse and only ended up hitting each other. The mice and myself had lot of fun.

While sleeping, grandma would spread the mats leaving a small margin between the wall and the mat. That margin was to be the undeclared wildlife corridor. The nocturnal insects would use it as a freeway without having to interfere with the sleep process of us, humans. But, occasionally we used to have man-insect encounter...like when a cockroach decided to take the road not taken and crawled over the over-bridge which was my arm. That was when, I used my well-trained shriek. Chorus by little sister. It was in this encounter that the above said cockroach became differently-abled due to grandma's angst. (In daylight, it would not have been handicapped...it would have been simply dead).

It wasn't just about fear and adventure though. There was the joy of capturing jewel beetles (பொன் வண்டு) in match boxes; feeding sparrows; following the squirrels; watching the garden lizard hoping it would change colors like a chameleon; feeding dead beetles to ants; planting mango seed; urinating on it hoping it would grow fast; even waiting for 4pm for the evening parade of the monkey pack.

Eventually we grew up, technology advanced and a sense of hygiene took over. The garden was relatively cleaned up, the trees were pruned. These days, the monkey population has migrated elsewhere, sparrows are not to be seen, squirrels are rare. The crevices and clefts are still there in lesser numbers. The fear of scorpions and centipedes is also still there, though I believe they have already departed us.

My nieces and nephews do not visit the house much and they don't believe my stories. What a pity!!

(post script: "Venu Lane" is the name of the street in which my maternal grandparents lived. I plan to write occasionally, based on my experiences from the days in Venu Lane).

(picture courtesy: http://www.ourhabitatgarden.org/creatures/insect-creatures.html)

Retirement - only from employment

The oldest memory I have about my dad is him walking, carrying me on his shoulders while I was half asleep - I must have been 4 or 5 years old then. The next best I remember is the day he brought home our first TV - I must have been 7 years then. After that, of course I remember many incidents like - my dad drawing a plant in my science album (and my science teacher writing back a comment - "album work is meant for children and not parents"), helping me prepare for fancy dress competition, writing essays and speeches for me, teaching me tenses and sentence formation in English grammar, teaching me algebra, numerous images of him washing my clothes, taking me to the doctor. Most recently, organizing my sister's marriage, taking me to the bus station to send me off from Erode every time I visited home.

He retired from BSNL on July 31 after 39 years and 8 months of service - most of which, I remember him to have been a 'Section Supervisor'. He was also an active member of National Federation of Telecom Employees union and was its district head for some time. The union (NFTE) had arranged for a farewell function last week. About 1100 guests attended it - yes, it was just a retirement party!!! Most of his time in these 40 years would have been spent working for the welfare of his colleagues ranging from - assistance to get a transfer - to - winning employment for a deceased colleague's son/daughter. Yet, as cited by many of his managers, he never left any of his office work pending.

Even though dad was pre-occupied with his duties in the union and office, he managed his personal life as well stupendously. He wasn't there with me and my sister to play carrom board or to sit and watch a movie at home..but, he was there with us for the essential moments and phases of childhood. He helped us with our studies and extra-curricular activities, made sure he was on page with our progress and helped us take some key decisions in life. This post is about some of the characters of my dad that impressed me the most. He is not the type that sits and gives long lectures. He has been living a life of character and I have been inspired by just watching him.

1. Simplicity:

For a man who has served in a Central Government job for almost 40 years, I would say my dad led a life of austerity. He doesn't wear an expensive watch or foot wear. His maximum indulgence has been the two-floor house - no portion of it rented out. He now owns his second TVS 50 (after the first one started giving maintenance problems).

2. No forced Gyan:

Only recently I learnt from my mom that, my dad could not pursue a degree because his father could not afford the expense of educating 6 children at the same time. At the age of schooling he had to walk several miles to school. When he was doing his PUC, he had spent many days without even single meals a day. But, he has never told us these stories in the pretext of providing inspiration. After having grown up, the only advice I remember hearing from my dad is "Women are sensitive....you should be extra-nice to them. Even a phone call means a lot to them".

3. Hardwork:

His day typically starts at 5 am and doesn't typically return home until 8 or 9 in the night - even on Sundays. He takes a 1 hour break in the afternoon. It is very very rare to see him in front of the TV except during news hour...and even the rare occasions would have been on festive days to watch debates . He doesn't encourage useless gossips.

4. Care for friends and relations:

This has been his hallmark character. He has always kept good friends around him and others are good at least when they are around him. He treats all relations equally and has never lost an opportunity to help his friends or relations. Some of his friends impress by their hard-work, while some with their intelligence, some with their unconditional love and all of them by their sincerity. There was never a chance for negativity around our home. If there was something that wasn't good for children, that stayed outside of home (cable TV for instance :) ).

5. Diplomacy:

It is amazing to see how he handles issues with a open mind and acts as a proper diplomat, without having read Dale Carnegie or Zen principles. I have seen him playing the role of a diplomat or negotiator between groups or individuals on many occasions and I have seen his suggestions being accepted with respect.

6. Aptitude:

For someone educated in a village school, my dad impresses with his grammatically and politically correct English. His Thamizh isn't any lesser. He can read through Government acts, legal notices, pay commission guide books and explain them - even on matters outside of his departmental knowledge. During his retirement function some of the speakers said he could have been a very successful lawyer.

7. Planning and organization:

Meticulous planner - very punctual. He always keeps a dictionary with him. Carries a bag whenever he goes out. Even for 1 or 2 hour journeys, carries a towel and water bottle with him. Always carries some white papers and pen. Makes a margin and marks page numbers before starting to write anything. Keeps a dictionary by the side when he reads something.

8. Gender equality:

Helps mom in the kitchen. There is not even a hint of chauvinism in his speech or acts. At the same time, he hasn't taken any feminist measures like adding mom's initials to our names.

Of course, mom has complemented him very well. Without her, he couldn't have been the man he is. If Rajamanickam is behind "Bhupesh Rajamanickam", Usha Rani is a part of "Bhupesh Rajamanickam" (All alphabets in her name fit into my name..almost in the same order except for 1 'a').

Life after retirement is very tricky especially for those who have been very active. Hopefully, dad will find things to keep himself active. The retirement will hopefully give him enough time to cherish his meals, follow his passions and live an unconstrained life. Through this post I wish him good luck.

Busy for Nothing

Dot 1
It was a saturday in 2000. Early days of college life. As a member of the "Leo club", I was helping with a blood donation camp organized within my college campus. Many of the readers of this blog being my college friends or co-workers, you probably know very well that I tend to be over-serious and hyper-responsible on such occasions, whether the occasion demands it or not - mostly not. This friend of mine, a girl, had been trying to get me out of the scene of action to say something (may be something like, "you stink"). I said, I will be there, but was continuously engaging someone or was just creating a "I am busy" atmosphere. Finally when I walked up to her and said, "sorry madam, I got busy"....for the first time she called me "Busy for nothing". That she continued to address me "Mr.Busy for Nothing", till the end of college, even in the slam book and that some of my other friends too started calling me so, is history. (That she also used to call me 'Badmash' (Rascal) is something I am making public now).

That phrase has become so much a part of me that, when someone asks me "Are you busy"...I often say, "yes, for nothing".

Somewhere in 2009, on one of the many lazy evenings, I started thinking a little deeper about the phrase. Ever since I joined college, I have always been busy with my own agenda. I haven't spent as much time with friends or family as others would have done. At least, till end of college, the 'busy'ness had been useful to others or myself. But, after taking up a job, all I have been focussing on is getting things done at work - more and more. For the most part, I have remained totally tuned out with respect to other aspects of life like - knowing the world, knowing people, travelling, thinking about investments, thinking about smarter career moves, getting license, filing tax, or even changing the address in my passport. But, that evening, it just ended with saying to myself, "How correct she was!! Oh boy, she is an oracle".

Dot 2
Again in 2009, I happened to watch the bollywood movie "Rock On" on Netflix. For those of you who do not know, it is a movie about how 4 college friends start a music band and then life takes them in different directions - 3 of them being successful in their line of work. Some incidents bring them together after few years and they resume the band. I liked the movie very much and still is in my list of favorites. That movie made me feel guilty about a few choices I made in life and many things I failed to even take a step towards.


Dot 3
After returning to India,one of the first things I did was to reload my i-pod with some latest songs. Thankfully, the friend who did it for me had "Rock On" in his collection. After shifting to Coimbatore, I happened to travel a lot between
Coimbatore-Erode-Chennai. For the first 2 months, my ipod was a great company during these travels. I played the songs from "Rock On", in a loop. Especially, the lyrics of "Sindbad the sailor", haunted me. Sometimes I felt very inspired, sometimes I felt sad and many times I felt a lot uneasy about the cliche choices I had made.

On one of these many travels, I wanted to listen to something other than "Rock On" and "Vinnaith Thaandi Varuvaya" and scrolled through the list of songs, when I stumbled upon podcasting of a collection of books. I started listening to "The Natural Mind - Waking up" by Alan Macmillan. I did not finish listening to the complete audio of the book...but, the few chapters that I listened to were very thought provoking. They made me think that I am a very insignificant being considering the timelessness and vastness of the universe and there hasn't been anything purposeful done by me to claim the special right to exist here.

Dot 4
I stopped being blind and deaf towards the everyday pain that people undergo to meet their basic needs. I stopped being critical of the beggars and less-intellects. I stopped thinking that my standard of living was because I had some special survival skills.

The hunger, the crowds, the fight to get a seat in the buses, the lack of courtesy to another human being are not new to me. I have grown up amidst this way of life. But, because I was developing empathy towards the less fortunate, I started viewing life through a different prism.

Dot 5
One of the significant personal improvements after returning to India has been the availability of time to read books. I have brought down the number of fictions I read and increased the count of non-fictions. Some of these books - "Go kiss the world", "7 habits of highly effective people", "A fist full of rice", "Thiruppumunai", "Mystics Musings", "The google story" - rekindled questions which have always been in my mind, but have been ignored in the pursuit of happiness as defined by the south-Indian society - score marks, go to a good college, get a job, focus on career, go abroad, buy a house, buy a car, marry a girl (a beautiful one), have kids, put them in the best of schools. The translated book "Thiruppumunai" - original version in English titled "Making breakthrough innovations happen" inspired me greatly. Also my interactions with my friends Suren and Anitha who are working with a non-profit organization made me question my aspirations in life. I started feeling uncomfortable to remain in the 'safe zone'.

Dot 6
Attaining the age of marriage meant attending the marriage of many school and college friends. During these gatherings, I got to meet some old friends most of whom had chosen the usual text book way of south-Indian life. However, I also got to meet few friends who had dared to think differently. These guys inspired me.

During a chat with my close friend Suresh who is preparing for Civil Service Examination, he explained me what and how he was preparing. The preparation and process was so interesting and immediatley I recognized that, that was exactly what I have been wanting to do. I seemed to have found something to hold on to. Something that would give me the satisfaction of treading the road not taken. After the chat, I was searching for something in google and stumble upon a page that quoted from "The Alchemist" - "When you really want something, the whole universe conspires in helping you achieve it".

After a month, I submitted my resignation. From April 12th, I will be a student again. I will be busy, hopefully, not for nothing.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Post-Script
Here is a speech by Steve Jobs about connecting the dots. Hopefully I will connect my dots - if not - I will find other dots.

Picture courtesy: http://bjovanovic.wordpress.com/2009/11/30/solutions-and-possibilities/

What's up with me - September 2010

There have been many enquiries about my physical well being. Hopefully there will be none about my mental well being after this post. I have lots of options as excuse for the long absence. Let us stick to laziness. To the interested minds, here is what has happened of bhupesh, to bhupesh and to the nears and dears since July 2010.

Firstly, my room mate left to the US and became a Non Returning Indian again. Which meant, I was 'Home Alone'(at least I belived so - more to follow on this).

Secondly, I have a lot of additions to my tag cloud. I use these words everyday and with shameless pride, as if I am the management messiah that the world has been waiting for. Some of them are: SoW, FTE, CR, C2.0, blended rate, NC, SPP, fishbone, pareto, pipeline, utilization, value add, goal setting, quadrant, bandwidth. Just to illustrate the effect, my team starts playing bingo as soon as I pick the phone. I started using the meeting room to avoid it, but I very recently heard someone shout 'Bingo' on the other side of the phone. Jokes apart, I feel like I am evolving.

Next, in the absence of a project manager in Coimbatore, I get to represent my vertical(for non-softwares, this is equivalent to "department") in meetings where "High Tea" is served. This means, I get to rub shoulders with some really tall people, like my Vice President who was 4 inches taller than me when I last stood near him (in the meeting before that, he was just 3 inches taller...in Cognizant, you "really" grow). Also, I get to try my jargons, amidst the smart minds of Cognizant. One such meeting was a workshop about improving the entry level training curriculum.

Well, the show-off is only in office. I had been to my cousin's marriage two weeks back. For the most part, I was seated next to my younger sister and brother-in-law. I experienced the utmost injustice that has been dealt to me in a very long time. People walked to our row and with all dignity wished my sister and brother-in-law. They didnt seem to consider my existence. It is amazing how one becomes 'respected' after marriage. There was one person who did consider me and wished me, only to take 50 rupees from me.

Earlier, my sister and BIL, visited home for the first time after marriage and we had a nice time - in between coffees. (My BIL likes coffee and that was reason enough for my mom to keep preparing coffee that the entire street didnt sleep because of the smell from our kitchen). My BIL talks less like me and considering the fact that he is putting up with my sister, he must be smarter.

I have been reading some books: "The 7 habits of highly effective men", "Alai Osai", "Romance in Chaos", "Nothing can be as crazy". First and second book are popular anyways..the remaining 2 are avoidable.

Lastly, the month of August was amazing. One reason, Coimbatore has cooled down. The other reason is that innovation was in air. Cognizant celebrated a month long innovation fair. Many events like art from waste, rangoli, quiz were conducted. The cross-word was won by yours truly. The treasure hunt event was amazing...especially because I was able to run ahead of many other younger chaps. The crux of the events was the innovation stall, which I was lucky to coordinate for my business unit and won the second place. More than the prize, it gave me the chance to interact with some lovely people. If not for anything else, I should consider myself lucky for the kind of friends I keep meeting. The innovation fair, opened doors to two gems as friends. For the amount of time I spent on the Innovation stall, I should be writing a seperate post on it....especially the misadventures.

Part of the innovation fair was the "Innovation Evangelist" program which I attended without knowing what I was getting into. It turned out to be an organization level initiative of which I am a part now - gladly. So, what exactly am I doing, "Awakening the Innovator"...and also my room mate now..so, let me wrap up.

To Appleton - with love

My flight to Appleton was cancelled due to fog and heavy winds in Chicago. After spending a few anxious hours in Chicago airport watching a couple more flights going "CANC", eventually, I got a seat in the last flight of the day to Appleton. When the flight reached Appleton it was very late and damn cold. I was supposed to call Roopesh to pick me up, but his mobile number was not an Appleton number and hence could not call him using the courtesy telephone (only local calls allowed). I did not have a single cent in change. I did not know where my lodging had been arranged. While I was wondering how to reach Roopesh, an Indian lad walked towards me and asked if I was from Chennai. I asked him if he worked for Cognizant too. We both were glad to have the company of an Indian at that point.

"I am Saravanan. I just got transferred from Knoxville"

"I am Bhupesh. I am...uh...first time to US"

"Where will you stay?"

"I dont know. My accommodation is arranged, but Roopesh knows the details"

"Roopesh..?"

"yes"

"and you are..?"

"Bhupesh"

"I plan to rent a room at Candlewood Suites and also a car. Would you like to join?"

If you have ever been in such a situation, you will understand, how happy I felt to hear that. Saravana rented a car and found our way to Candlewood Suites. "This is the first time I am driving in US"...he said. Having not eaten for more than eight hours, I was absolutely exhausted to say anything at all....I didn't even mind that he was driving on the left - until he realised it himself!! Saravana took me to Wal-Mart. Only after encashing my Travellers Cheques, I got a little easy.

In those first few hours at Appleton, obviously, I could not form any opinion about the town. I slept the rest of the night.

When I woke up on the morning of April 4th, 2007, the roofs of the nearby buildings were all white. 'Some regulation' I thought...until realizing that the whiteness was due to snow. We were in office at 8am. I was introduced to my supervisors and team-mates. ("I am Sarada Kanth. Call me Sarada Kanth!!"). The office looked the same everywhere. Everytime I got out of my desk, it was tough to find the way back to my desk. So, I stuck to my desk mostly.

Due to the uncertainity in Siva's tenure at onshore, I, Jai and Saravana rented Apt #6, McCarthy Creek, 1485 North McCarthy Road, Appleton which was to be our abode for the next 2.5 years and also served as our cricket pitch for about 1 year (even after Jai broke the ceiling lamp while enjoying the follow through of his cover-drive).

Siva stayed with Aravind, Sathya and Ranjeeth. The first few evenings were spent in their apartment - three reasons - 1. They were the only guys we knew 2. They had internet connection 3. Aravind made sure the fridge was filled with snacks, Indian and Western. In office, most of my time was spent in trying to stay awake and occassionally attending some knowledge transition sessions when Esai and Saradakanth did not have time for it. In those days (and probably in the entire history of Appleton), we were the only clowns who walked through Wisconsin and College avenues. Jai started his first accounting task when he calculated the money we spent for taxi and discovered that it would be beneficial to rent a car. We rented a Corolla. From then on he was the finance minister for our apartment and most trips.

Within the first 10 days, I witnessed snow for the first time in life. Well...actually, I witnessed burgers, exits, huge parking spaces, etc for the first time.

It took a while to settle down with an SSN, bank account, internet, microwave oven and a casket for the cooker. We used to go to Ifti's apartment every weekend, watch some movie, take dinner prepared by Mani, Ifti and Ananth. Our other favorite hang out place was fox river mall (others enjoyed, while I usually was very anxious about the production support call, I "might" get).

Soon Ifti got married. Siva went back to India (only to return in 4 months and join us at #6, 1485). Mani shifted to our apartment temporarily. We learnt to cook, shop, plan trips and order pizza by watching Mani. We went to the tennis court regularly (but the only court that Mani showed interest in was "court"ing Geetha over phone).

Regular production support calls, Oshkosh in 20 minutes drive, Milwaukee in 2 hrs drive, Chicago in 3 hrs drive, Dells City in 1.5 hrs drive and with Mani around, weekends were always eventful. As Mani used to put it, we were involved in some "activity" always.

Once Siva and Jai got cars, there were very few places in and around Appleton that we did not explore. Movie halls, restaurants, dance floors, bowling alleys, shopping malls - just to generalize a few. As months rolled, we had more Cognizant folks coming to Appleton and our group got bigger, each one bringing a different dimension to the group.

A big group meant, lot of OC food, poker nights, constant leg-pulling, arguments and discussions (courtesy - Srikk, Seshu and Ilavenil). When the weather allowed, we planned for trips outside Appleton. Overall - great fun.

I was a mini-Gajini in that, I planned to return to India a dozen times, before the management was finally convinced that I could go back, after the OTC project went live. The date was fixed as September 13th, 2009. On the morning of the 13th, Prashanth rang the door bell, sticking to his military precision at 4.45am. I was anxious about being in time for the flight and the luggage weight....and did not think much about leaving the place that I dwelled in for 2.5 years. When I finally crossed the security check and sat at the gate1 waiting area, I felt a chill in the heart...because I was leaving the place where I had a warm stay, in spite of the cold weather. The feeling of seperation was second only to the one I had while leaving the college campus after the 4 years. That was 5.5 years back. Back then, I thought my best friends were the ones I acquired in college....but I enjoyed equally great and greater friendship at Appleton. I boarded the flight with the hopes of travelling again in the fox valley cabs.

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The trips:

My first big trip was the one to Chicago on 27th May, 2007, when I witnessed sky-scrappers for the first time. Can never forget our entry into the city with 'Desert Roses' playing the stereo and the rain drenched walk, through the streets of Chicago Downtown.

Niagara was on the top of my list 'to visist' in US. I was lucky to visit twice...the first time with Bhaskar, Aravind, Ranjeeth, Santosh and Murali and the second time with Siva, Srikk, Kamesh and Jai.

Dells City - the home of theme parks. It is always fun to stay drenched in water, may be something we carry from our childhood. We went two times and both times to Noah's Ark. The visit to the mystery castle was fun. Thanks to Krithika for all the pestering and gathering the crowd.

New York - Our most tightly packed trip. We covered, Times Square, Wall Street, Brooklyn Bridge, Wax museum in a single night - mostly by walk and then stood in the queue for almost 2 hours to visit Statue of Liberty the following day.

Nordic Hills - The snow tubing trip at the end of winter, that expanded my friend's circle.

Minneapolis - Hevay snow fall, Christmas eve, Chevy Impala, an excited Siva and the 100mph drive with poor visibility. Add, 'I am Legend'.

Las Vegas - Again a spot that I visted twice - Fremont experience and Stratospehere 'Big Shot' being the best moments.

Grand Canyon - Didnt live upto the expectation, especially because of the exhausting, low altitude flight journey.

Yellowstone - Top of them all. 2 days with natures inc.

SFO - the last and final tour in US. I got to set foot on the beaches of pacific.
Cant forget the 'presidio' that we almost visted :) (the road diverted near the entrance to the presidio and led us out of SFO). We made it to the flight in the last moment.

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A few spots in Appleton, that I wanted to write specifically about:

China Moon - Most of the time we used to start late for dinner on Fridays/Saturdays. China Moon was the only restaurat that was open after 10pm and served likeable vegetarian food. Most times, the restaurant owners were the only people who gave us company there. More than me, Siva will remember me ordering 'Lemon Chicken'. The waitress came with a huge lemon in a bowl and chicken in a plate.

Burger King, Taco Bell (College Avenue) and Chipotle - When Sriram or Srikkanth did not invite us for dinner, and we were lazy to cook (read - "most of the time"), these two places were our fast food choices.

Confucius - Siva's permanent choice because of the Russian waitress there.

Sairam and Indian Darbar - On occassions when Seshu was persistant about Indian restaurant...well...no other choice.

Roopesh' apartment - Roopesh and Sushmitha always invited us for Indian festivals for lunch or dinner. Though I am not a religious person, I did not want to miss the "kozhukkattai", "sundal" or "pongal".

Wal-mart Supercenter (MutualWay)- This was the first store I went to in Appleton and the last but one.

Great Clipps - There were places that did hair-cut cheaper, but preferred my hair to be handled by the same set of people.

Noodles and Company - My personal favorite. One of my goals was to try everything in their menu at least once. When I left Appleton, I still had not tried two of their items.

Olive Gardens - Universal favorite for our group - especially the minestrone soup.

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Claimer: There were more friends in Appleton than the names I have mentioned in this post. I hereby claim that each one of them is important and I cherish them all equally :)

My recent obsessions

After watching Jodha Akbhar, I spent the next 3 to 4 hours surfing the net about Akbar, Mughal History and such. When someone told me about how Vaishnavites don't prefer worshiping Lord Shiva, I spent the next one week or so, reading about Shiva and what Hindu Mythology says about him. I am not talking about just academic research....to quote another example, until recently, I listened to 'Sindbad the Sailor' from movie 'Rock On', almost every night.
Do most of you go from obsessions to obsessions, like me? That's probably a gene that we carry from our great grand parents - the monkeys.

Anyway, here are some of my recent obsessions:

1. Firefox - I don't remember what prompted me to install Firefox...probably, my friend Vinayak's propaganda :). It's been sometime now. But I generally switch between Firefox and IE. For the past 1 or 2 days I have been exploring the features in Firefox. I have been trying different skins. "Mozilla Firefox" skin is the one I am using currently. Unfortunately, I have to use IE in my office laptop.

2. Stumble Upon - While hunting Firefox, I stumbled upon 'Stumble Upon'. I created an account and chose some of my favorite search topics. Every time I click on 'Stumble!' button, it shows me a website relevant to my favorite topics. The last one I hit was a site on 'Buddhism'. Haven't explored much.

3. Theology - Well, this has been a permanent obsession. I am a non-believer - yes....but I like to read about the philosophies and mythologies of different religions. (I am the second kind that Mel Gibson describes in 'Signs').

4. 15th Lok Sabha in India - A couple of bitter experiences in college created a distaste in me for politics. My roomie Siva, who is my window to current affairs, gave me updates on the Lok Sabha election results.....and the Manmohan magnet pulled me towards NDTV and CNN IBN. I have been reading positive comments about Rahul Gandhi, Omar Abdullah and generally about luring youth towards politics. Hoping for good governance in the next 5 years. (For those of you who think I am a communist, 'Equality' and 'Secularism' are not principles of communism alone :) )

5. Animation movies - I have watched a series of animation movies over the last 3 months (Antz, A Bug's Life, Madagascar, Lion King 1.5, Wall-E and 2 or 3 more). The best thing I like about animation movies is the philosophy most of them carry (Eg: Secret Ingredient in Kungfu Panda) and the intelligent dialogues (Eg: from 'Madagascar' - Alex (Lion) to Marty (Zebra) - "You know your black and white stripes? They cancel each other out! You are a nothing"

6. Ye tumhari meri baatein - Song from Rock On. This is my anthem now. The lyrics are simple and the music is soothing. In the comments section of this blog, someone has tried to translate the song line by line: http://pritiahuja.wordpress.com/2008/08/17/song-on-my-mind-3/

7. Kaakkaichiraginile Nadhalala - Poem by Bharathiar. He sees and feels God in feather, grass and fire. God is everywhere!! Scientifically speaking: http://alpha-beta-blogma.blogspot.com/2009/03/blog-post_31.html

8. 'Blue Night' - MLTR. Romantic lyrics and a cool video.

9. http://vadakaraivelan.blogspot.com - he writes well, in simple Thamizh about day to day topics and has a lot of fan following.

I wanted to make it 10, but couldnt think of any recent obessesions to add. So, there ends my obsession to write at least 10 in every list :)

Yellow Wood

When my father made a stubborn decision that I should go to a different school for my 11th and 12th grade classes, I still think, that the only thing in his mind was that I should get a better score to be able to enter a top rated college for my "Engineering" (That was my decision versus his "Medicine") . It turned out to be a good decision, not because I got a good score but because, the new environment made me a better individual fit enough to compete in the struggle for existence. Being amongst the new crowd, re-engineered almost everything about myself. If I removed those two years from my life, I might not have walked out of college with a job in hand.

When I look back, that's the last time I remember him supporting the bicycle from behind. probably he knew that it was time for me to ride it by myself and may be fall a few times if that is what it takes to learn bicycling. Of course he has been there to guide on few occassions, but he let me make all the decisions in personal life or career thereafter.

It hasnt been easy taking decisions. Especially, with what they call "the quarter-life" crisis. It isn't just two roads that diverge in the yellow wood. Every road taken diverges, triverges and more often multi-verges. It may have been possible for Robert Frost to always take the one less trodden by. But I have very rarely taken the one less trodden. Sooner or later, I have always taken the path that many took. At the best, I try to wear a different shoe....and has that made any difference? You know, I know, 'No' :)

Decision making is a subject that I keep thinking about often. Obviously, I have written about it before, in the pre-blog days. I decided to write again now.

Scientifically, it is greatly amusing that nerves across the body use chemical and electrical synapses to communicate and thereby simulate a certain action by the body. Not all reactions happen on the fly! Some actions are based on past experiences. So, the nerves have to first identify peas in the plate, then search the folder "past signal repository" on "eating peas" and send back signal to my hand, eyes, tongue, nose and mouth - "Don't eat. Roger", then the hand has to send "Copy that. Roger". Sometimes it has to apply over-rides and say "peas prepared by friend with love. Applying override. Breach recommendation. Roger".

Now think of this - the signals about aversion towards peas is supposedly on the left side of the brain and the emotional operations of the brain are on the right side. So, everytime my eyes sense peas, the left brain has to generate orders which then are reviewed by the right brain to see if any over-rides need to be applied. What complex machine am I? Well...those of you who just thought about "God", had one pulse sent down from right brain. And those of us who just thought about "corpus callosum" had one pulse sent down from left brain....and then those of you who thought both - dont worry, you can survive on this most trodden road and do not have to take "left" or "right" in the next road and I am not going to influence you take "left" :)

Suresh, my close buddy, once said - "This is happening to me because I made a decision a while ago, but I dont know which one". I have often thought, how deep that statement is. Every decision made is interleaved with another, causing all the happiness and disappointments in life. Every decision small/big has butterfly effects that are small/big. The decisions could be good or bad. What is good for one could be bad for another. What is good for one could be bad if taken two days later. What is good for one in US could be bad for the same one if he/she were in India.
But, it is decisions that run this world. One cannot run away from decisions.

So, what is it that one should consider while making decisions? Thoughts???? If anyone wants to write on this elaborately, let me know, I will be very happy to send you an invite to be an author in my blog.

I dont know the answer to this question, but I have decided to try to come up with something within the next 8 weeks.

If this post was written by someone else, and that person were to end it right here, I would feel like kicking him/her. I am ready for the kicks - keep them coming....!

(Part II - http://alpha-beta-blogma.blogspot.com/2009/06/yellow-wood-ii.html)

The evolution of an aspiring writer

No marks for guessing that the aspiring writer is me. I am not a sensation or a rage, but if I dont write about my evolution in my blog, poor me, who will?

'Romance' is twice removed from reality. Not sure who owns the patent for that, but the one who told me was my English teacher in 8th grade. I realize that better as I start seeing grey hairs in my side burns.

My first attempt at poem, that I recall, was a political satire (trust me :)) and it was about Harshad Metha when I was in 5th or 6th grade.

Harshad Metha
ஒரு தாத்தா
அவருக்கு இவ்வளவு பெரிய சொத்தா?

I followed that up with a variety of 'angry young man' poems. Most of them were short and digged at the evils of the society - though I didnt even have the maturity to comprehend them.

Some of them were advisory ones with themes like 'stay united'.

I remember that my first attempt at a nature poem was in 10th or 11th grade. It was a conscious effort to write a nature poem....it described a misty morning scene and ended indicating that it was a dream. I intentionally made some practical mistakes since it was a dream (how intelligent and how evolved?!!).

Then came Mr.Orator who needed short punch lines. But then, I had a serious of failure attempts at competitions and did not get my well-written 2 page long poem published in the school magazine. When I look back, I admit that it was not good, but not as pathetic as the ones that emptily sang the school's praise and made it to the magazine.

Then the romance bug bit me. I really got better at love poems with the help of androgens and adrenalin, inspired by John Keats, Khalil Gibran and ofcourse a pretty face in the class(the last time I heard, the girl was to marry a doctor. Hearty wishes!!). The angry young man used to show up now and then (mostly to support Mr.Orator) , inspired by Abdul Rahman, Vairamuthu and the numerous communist writers in "Thamarai" magazine. (Pause - my first inspiration to write poems is my cousin Siva).

I got better after reading some quality books. I started crafting my poems rather than just writing them. They became crisper. College life was successful, compensating for the school experience. I won competitions, I think mainly because there were only few who could write better....and most of the time they were in the panel of judges. Got lucky. And college, obvioulsy was the most romantic period too. Angry young man - still there.

Chennai - early days in Cognizant was the golden period for love poems. Numerous forwards, and many stereo type forwarded "poems(!)", lured me towards non-fiction. I was fairly successful with both, earning some admirers. In this phase, both nature and technology played a vital role in promoting my poems. Nature - Chennai Beach. Technology - Free SMS.

Did not take long for reality to show its grave face....that with may be the taste of money, slowly saw the angry young man off...atleast in poems. Then came the quarter life crisis (which, by the way, still continues). Higher studies? Shift in job? Technical/management? Business? Too many decisions to make and Mr.Romance became a overburden. That was a real difficult phase......to have decided to concentrate on career and to give up the longest lasting 'object of desire(shortly, OOD)' (it became easier later for a different reason). By this time, most of the 'admirers network', got transferred to the western world. Gentle Men - please welcome 'dry period'.

One thing I am proud about though is that, there has been only one sad poem till now....and that too was before I got inspired by Bharathi (Seems, he did not write a single sad poem in his life).

Incomes a renewed college friendship, enquiring about my poems. Well....fresh inspiration. No OOD, Angry Y man is lost and had grown out of the "heart-throb" shell.....all doors for 'removing reality twice' closed. This stage in my life is called : "Becoming wordsworth - the nature poet". The withering of leaf, branching rain drops on bus window, street lights on highway, smell of idli from next compartment, chennai traffic, stagnated rain water - everything had a poem in it. This was a greater step in the evolution process. There was no personal or social influence.

Then came the career move, that brought me to the other side of the prime meridian and there has not been much inspiration.....and I have begun to appreciate reality too much that, it doesnt even please the ego when admired, unless the appreciation comes from a very close friend.

That pretty much brings us to Dec 27th, 2008. This could be the most meaningful stage in life.I received an email from Geetha this morning that, my writing has become more beautiful now. That may be means, she is becoming old too :). She has been audience to my writing since post-school days.....well, that email is the inspiration for this post.

Why the name?

"alpha-beta-blogma" is not short or not even cool for a blog name. When I decided to create my blog, I thought of a few names, I myslef assumed that most of them would have been taken. The names were mostly something external to the usual band - for example - "7th sense", "Outside the spectrum", "Thoutosphere". I somehow wanted to convey that, when I write, I am not my usual self and that I operate in an abnormal state of mind. When I had not yet been slaved by the evil of laziness, I used to go to meditation classes where I learnt that the brain operated in different frequencies 'alpha', 'beta','delta' and 'theta'. I thought of using this theory for the blog's name.

As explained at this link: http://www.web-us.com/brainwavesfunction.htm,
beta - is the state of mind when we do things consciously, like debugging a code, solving puzzles, arguing, etc
alpha - is the state of a calm mind, like when taking a short break, filling timesheet, taking a deep breath...
theta - is the next sate of calmness. This is when we do things unconscioulsy, like taking bath, whistling a known song, filling water in a jug......after 10 minutes, if I ask, 'which part did you apply soap first while taking bath', you wont know, because you just follow some routine which you never cared to be conscious about.
delta - dreamless sleep, heavy meditation, coma.

It is said that, in the 'theta' state, the brain can do marvellous things. That state is supposed to be the best for creative mental activity.

When I write, I generally am very much absorbed into the writing. Most often, after writing a few lines, I suddenly feel as if I was just pulled out of the matrix by Morphius. I seemed to go into the low alpha state or may be the margin of theta state.

Ideally the name should have been 'alpha-beta-blogta'....that sounded like German. Blogma rhymed with gamma and hence went for alpha-beta-blogma.
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Oh....Thanks Morphius.
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2008 top 10

Ha....I never thought I would write a second one....here I am!!! Cool.

It helps that we are nearing the end of 2008. I get to write a topic that is neither too serious nor stupid. Here are 10 best things that I did or happened to me in 2008. They are just 10 best things and the order has no significance.

1. Visit to Niagara. This was my second time.
2. Trip to Nordic mountains. The trip gave me new friends.
3. The long chat (may be the longest in my life) with one of my recent good friends. Later, I proposed to her - "Will you be my sister"? :)
4. Las Vegas trip. I am still Gandhi....hope u know what I mean.
5. Dared to take additional responsibility at work. It has been tough, but I guess what is important is the exposure. Would you please read the last word within double quotes?
6. Won Dumb C and set up a decent crossy....2 things I have carried into Cognizant from college.
7. Wrote testimonials in orkut to many friends and gave feed back about co-workers, to their supervisors. It helped to express my love and appreciation, because, in real-time, I pathetically fail when it comes to expressing my feelings
8. The unexpected testimonial, that I got from my college junior Pradeep
9. Celebrated my birthday with my long time friends (Cognizant batchmates) at Indianapolis
9(b) As usual, Anu's call on my birthday.
10. Ended my long runnig battle with my father about buying a house. I sent him all the money I had and said, I dont have money to buy a house :)
11. The decision to stop with top '10'.

I am able to recollect only one useful thing I have done this year - donated money for the Bihar relief....so there goes another year without making any contribution for the betterment of the community.

I will end this post with one worst thing that happened with me in 2008. I had repeated hostile conversations with a friend whom I cared very much for. The atmosphere is not the same anymore. Though we didnt explicitly state it, I think, we agreed to stay a little away from each other.