No marks for guessing that the aspiring writer is me. I am not a sensation or a rage, but if I dont write about my evolution in my blog, poor me, who will?
'Romance' is twice removed from reality. Not sure who owns the patent for that, but the one who told me was my English teacher in 8th grade. I realize that better as I start seeing grey hairs in my side burns.
My first attempt at poem, that I recall, was a political satire (trust me :)) and it was about Harshad Metha when I was in 5th or 6th grade.
அவருக்கு இவ்வளவு பெரிய சொத்தா?
I followed that up with a variety of 'angry young man' poems. Most of them were short and digged at the evils of the society - though I didnt even have the maturity to comprehend them.
Some of them were advisory ones with themes like 'stay united'.
I remember that my first attempt at a nature poem was in 10th or 11th grade. It was a conscious effort to write a nature poem....it described a misty morning scene and ended indicating that it was a dream. I intentionally made some practical mistakes since it was a dream (how intelligent and how evolved?!!).
Then came Mr.Orator who needed short punch lines. But then, I had a serious of failure attempts at competitions and did not get my well-written 2 page long poem published in the school magazine. When I look back, I admit that it was not good, but not as pathetic as the ones that emptily sang the school's praise and made it to the magazine.
Then the romance bug bit me. I really got better at love poems with the help of androgens and adrenalin, inspired by John Keats, Khalil Gibran and ofcourse a pretty face in the class(the last time I heard, the girl was to marry a doctor. Hearty wishes!!). The angry young man used to show up now and then (mostly to support Mr.Orator) , inspired by Abdul Rahman, Vairamuthu and the numerous communist writers in "Thamarai" magazine. (Pause - my first inspiration to write poems is my cousin Siva).
I got better after reading some quality books. I started crafting my poems rather than just writing them. They became crisper. College life was successful, compensating for the school experience. I won competitions, I think mainly because there were only few who could write better....and most of the time they were in the panel of judges. Got lucky. And college, obvioulsy was the most romantic period too. Angry young man - still there.
Chennai - early days in Cognizant was the golden period for love poems. Numerous forwards, and many stereo type forwarded "poems(!)", lured me towards non-fiction. I was fairly successful with both, earning some admirers. In this phase, both nature and technology played a vital role in promoting my poems. Nature - Chennai Beach. Technology - Free SMS.
Did not take long for reality to show its grave face....that with may be the taste of money, slowly saw the angry young man off...atleast in poems. Then came the quarter life crisis (which, by the way, still continues). Higher studies? Shift in job? Technical/management? Business? Too many decisions to make and Mr.Romance became a overburden. That was a real difficult phase......to have decided to concentrate on career and to give up the longest lasting 'object of desire(shortly, OOD)' (it became easier later for a different reason). By this time, most of the 'admirers network', got transferred to the western world. Gentle Men - please welcome 'dry period'.
One thing I am proud about though is that, there has been only one sad poem till now....and that too was before I got inspired by Bharathi (Seems, he did not write a single sad poem in his life).
Incomes a renewed college friendship, enquiring about my poems. Well....fresh inspiration. No OOD, Angry Y man is lost and had grown out of the "heart-throb" shell.....all doors for 'removing reality twice' closed. This stage in my life is called : "Becoming wordsworth - the nature poet". The withering of leaf, branching rain drops on bus window, street lights on highway, smell of idli from next compartment, chennai traffic, stagnated rain water - everything had a poem in it. This was a greater step in the evolution process. There was no personal or social influence.
Then came the career move, that brought me to the other side of the prime meridian and there has not been much inspiration.....and I have begun to appreciate reality too much that, it doesnt even please the ego when admired, unless the appreciation comes from a very close friend.
That pretty much brings us to Dec 27th, 2008. This could be the most meaningful stage in life.I received an email from Geetha this morning that, my writing has become more beautiful now. That may be means, she is becoming old too :). She has been audience to my writing since post-school days.....well, that email is the inspiration for this post.
5 years ago